I was reading Dale Carnegie's book "How To Make Friends And Influence
People" today, with mixed feelings. This is a very well-known book on how to
be a more likeable person and thus have better relations with people.
Although this is a nice concept, it is distressing to think of how much of
the book's mentality is in trying to be fake; That is, in being unusually
pleasant to people to make them like you.
  It reveals much of the style of "businesspeople", such as salespeople,
public-relations crews, and other folks who make their living out of making
other people believe something. Many of these people seem to regard human
interaction mainly as a form of business, not as a social function. They will
put on a well-practiced smile, be jovial and kind, and say nice things to
you, many of which may not be true, and most of which they likely would not
say if they did not want your money (or whatever else it is they may want
from you). It has become accepted among the general public that these people
are this way, that salespeople are slimy and will do anything to make a sale.
Yet it is genuinely sad to look inside the world of sales and see the world
from the businessperson's eyes. To them, such practice is not just
acceptable, it is simply the order of the day. People are regarded not as
people, but as targets for money.
  Socialization has been greatly cheapened today. In business, the process of
finding new employees to hire is very often not done through job
advertisements, but through "networking", the aptly-named "hidden job
market", in which people simply hire friends, or friends of friends, just
because they would rather hire someone they know than someone who may be more
qualified to do the job. This has created people who seem to socialize mainly
to network, to make new contacts which they might use to help them get a job.
  The result is that human interaction and friendship have been
commercialized. There is little "real" friendship in many friendships, just a
mutual interest in trying to make more money. People are not interested in
the company of others, and they do not really care how you are doing, but
they will ask anyway, just in case you may be useful to them. They will go
through any number of pleasantries such as going out to lunch, just to
establish better relations with someone, even though that someone is rarely a
person they care about personally.
  Friendship has become shallow. There is no personal connection in it
anymore. It's just all about the business, all about the money. As important
as money is, it is sad to see what it does to people. It's hard to say what's
worse: The impersonal, business-oriented "socialization" I have just
described, or the fact that this kind of thing is not only accepted, but
considered normal. Among today's business culture, networking is not just
common, it's looked on as a better way to do business. And so people go on
having these meaningless relations, in the name of mo' money.