What is love? Live is a much-valued concept in human society. Next to the weather, love may be the most-discussed subject in the world. Love is the dominant theme in most popular music. And love is something which everybody seems to value and want, but which too few seem to understand. Indeed, there are some who have concluded that love cannot be understood. But what *is* love? Most people, posed with this question, will use the words "a feeling" to begin their definition. But is love only a feeling? Or is it something more? I heard a woman call someone her "best friend" the other day. This woman is married, and the person she spoke of was not her husband. I began to think after hearing this: What is a friend, and how is it different from a lover? A friend is someone you can talk to. A friend is someome you get along with. A friend is someone you can trust. A friend is someone who you can count on to be there for you, and who in turn can count on you. These are qualities we value in our friends. But what do people value in their lovers? Many people, if you ask, will cite points like "s/he is really good-looking", "s/he is smart", "s/he is nice", or "s/he loves me back". Frankly, this worries me. It indicates a sense of "love" based on empty things. It emphasizes the physical and the shallow. What do friends do together? Mostly, they talk. They talk and talk. This is friendship. What do lovers do together? They do "romantic" things. They kiss, they dance, sometimes they hold hands. But they do not talk much. Many lovers do not like to talk a lot. Indeed, when two people go out on a date, talking is considered "unromantic". Again, this is a notion of love that emphasizes the physical. It seems something has gone wrong when friends know each other better than "boyfriends" or "girlfriends". True love is not merely physical. True love is not only a feeling. True love is a higher form of friendship. True love is not dependant on someone being good-looking or smart or funny. It's about personality. It exists because you get along with someone, because you think the same way, because you like the same things, because you are close to each other, because you bring each other happiness even when you are not "making love" (as sex is euphemised), because you are soulmates. When you have true love, your boyfriend or girlfriend (or husband or wife) is also your best friend. It's clear something is seriously wrong in a society that believes in "love at first sight". When you first see someone, you know nothing about them other than what they look like. Yet this concept is considered highly romantic. Apparently the logic is that if someone is good-looking, they must be the right one for you, and the lengthy and difficult process of actually getting to know them is not necessary. Little wonder that half of all marriages in America now end in divorce. If you love someone, the next time you are together, think about why you love each other. Is it based in something meaningful? How well do you really know this person? And is your love physical, or mental? And so continues the battle between love and sex...