The Adventures Of Hax0r Man Chapter 14 Hax0r Man and the zealots by LateBlt At one point in time, it might have been unusual to see someone on the sidewalk using a laptop computer. Even today, this is something one doesn't see every day, even in Silicon Valley. Cell phones, sure, everybody uses those as they walk around, and lots of people have laptops, but laptops get used on desks and on public transit. To see someone simply sitting in a public throughway with a laptop is a little discontinuous. Most people probably wouldn't notice Hax0r Man with his laptop unless they were really paying attention, and even if they noticed, so what? It's not like there's anything particularly remarkable about somebody with a laptop computer. But Hax0r Man still attracts his fare share of attention as he computes on the streets of Silicon Valley. Most of the time, this attention comes from fellow people who think they like computers--as in Hax0r Man's recent encounter with a young gentleman who thought he knew something about tech--but there are also occasional bursts of negative attention. Often these take the form of no-gooders who try to steal the laptop, only to abandon it when they discover that they can't use it since they don't know how to use Hax0r Man's customized operating system. But the San Francisco Bay Area was a place of highly-opinionated and outspoken people before Silicon Valley became the internationally-famous technology mecca it is, and many of these people still remain. Hax0r Man experiences occasional confrontations with zealots who see him as some sort of a threat because he's obviously somebody who actually likes computers and isn't just into them for the money, which is a kind of person one rarely finds in Silicon Valley anymore. One fine day, Hax0r Man is having a good hacking run on his laptop when a middle-aged woman who doesn't look rich walks by. As she passes in front of Hax0r Man, she mutters, "You computer people." She says it quietly, as though she really just means to say it to herself and walk by without saying anything else, but she says it loudly enough that Hax0r Man believes she intends for him to hear. It's hardly the first time that Hax0r Man has been called a "computer person" in an apparently derogatory way, but he's not sure whether he should react, and if so, how so. The woman also seems torn; on the one hand, she seems inflamed by something, frustrated between the apparent desire to say something more and the conflicting impulse to not create a scene. Hax0r Man doesn't want to simply brush the woman off, since she obviously has something she'd sort of like to communicate, but he's also not sure whether the woman really wants to talk or is just lashing out. As the woman continues walking by, though, Hax0r Man speaks: "Yes, I'm a computer person. What about computer people?" The woman, encouraged by this apparent sign that Hax0r Man will converse with her, stops walking, turns to face him, and continues speaking quietly, in a voice that suggests suppressed anger. "You've turned this whole planet upside down, that's what. Things will never be the way they were before computers, and you hacker kids just don't care. All you care about is your logic and your machines. In less than 50 years, you've done more than any previous generation in history to dehumanize the human race." It's nothing Hax0r Man hasn't heard before, but it's been a long time since he's spoken to someone who has said something like this to his face. It's been a long time since he's considered this point of view. He's not sure how to respond, but he recognizes that the woman he's speaking to is someone who values honesty, so he opts for the same approach. He has no need to convince this woman of anything; like any other person who Hax0r Man talks to, he opts to simply say what he means. "It's true, of course," Hax0r Man agrees. "The world will never be the same. But it's not like I personally tried to make it into what it is now. The human race dehumanized itself by placing logic and machines above everything else. I never did anything that changed the world much; all I've ever done is enjoy using computers. I don't see why I should bear the responsibility of all humanity." "Just by being part of the so-called computer revolution, you became a perpetrator of it. Even just sitting here with your laptop on the sidewalk is a small piece of the bigger picture. People all over the world are doing exactly what you're doing, lost in their little electronic worlds, oblivious to everything around them, aware of nothing but bits and bytes." "Perhaps that's also true," Hax0r Man agrees. "But a computer is about more than just bits and bytes. Have you ever actually used a computer?" This is one of those questions that could be taken as insulting, but Hax0r Man really means it as he says it, neither accusing nor condescending, but simply questioning. "Of course I have," the woman says. "I even took a course in word processing back in the day." "Have you ever done anything else? Written a program, or created a virtual environment on a computer?" "No," the woman says. "I'm not a programmer." "Then you've only seen a very limited slice of what computers are really about. Computers aren't just about spreadsheets full of numbers or word processers printing out business documents. A computer isn't just about cold logic and sterile numbers. Have you ever heard of the Hacker Ethic?" "No," the woman admits. "It's a series of tenets that was created when computers were still new, back before home computers became common," Hax0r Man explains. "One of the beliefs of the Hacker Ethic is that you can create art and beauty on a computer. Real 'computer people', as you call them, firmly believe that computers are about more than just rote logic. Computer programming is an art form, like painting or music. It's not as immediately apparent to most people, because most people aren't computer programmers, but just as you probably wouldn't recognize 'On The Road' or 'The Importance Of Being Earnest' if you saw them written in a language you couldn't read, computer code contains hidden gems of artistic expression the world ar large will probably never understand." The woman pauses. Hax0r Man suspects that she has never considered this viewpoint of computers before. "Even if that's true," the woman says thoughtfully, "how many people actually are into this 'computers as art' sort of philosophy?" "Probably not very many," Hax0r Man concedes. "But that's because they've lost sight of what computers can really do. I've never tried to evangelize computers, never tried to make a user out of someone who genuinely wasn't interested in computers, but if I've ever tried to play a role in changing how the world thinks about computers, I've done so by trying to open the eyes of people who really do like computers, but misunderstand what they're for. I've spoken to countless hot-shots who think they're smart programmers, web designers, or database analysts, and tried to explain to them just how soulful technology can be, but most of them are blinded by societal norms and money. There's not a lot of money in artistic hacking, and it's usually not very much in vogue, either, so most people aren't drawn to it except those who can see it for what it really is. The fact that someone is a 'computer person' doesn't mean they're culturally, socially, or spiritually dead; it just means they like computers. If there's something wrong with that, I'd like to know why." The woman pauses to take this all in. "I guess not all computer people are alike," she finally concludes. "Definitely," Hax0r Man agrees. The woman seems a bit confused now, as though she is thinking thoughts she has never thought before. But she does not seem unhappy; she seems more relaxed than when she first began speaking, and somewhere in her face, Hax0r Man sees a flicker of something like relief, like a great load being lifted off someone's shoulders. The silence between the two continues at length, then finally, the woman says "It was nice talking." Hax0r Man nods, and then the woman turns away and is gone. She'll probably never become a computer person; she didn't seem interested in computers anyway. But perhaps she'll understand bitheads a little better next time she sees one. Hax0r Man goes back to what he was doing. After a while, a thirtysomething gentleman comes walking down the sidewalk, moving with the gait of someone who feels a sense of purpose, yet actually has none. He glances in Hax0r Man's direction while walking by, and stops to address Hax0r Man for a moment. "You computers guys," the man says with a potent mixture of amusement and disdain. "You guys think you know stuff, but you really don't." "Oh?" Hax0r Man asks, simultaneously interested in hearing more and wishing for this conversation to already be over. "You think you're smart because you can make a website or write a program that prints something on the screen. Let me tell you, kid: You don't know squat. I'm a structural engineer, and where I come from, ten pages of calculus calculations are considered a menial task. In the real world, things need to be *real*. You can't get by with just making something look cool on a computer screen or making some smarty-pants hack. You have to actually know something." Hax0r Man, who has studied calculus and knows for a fact that it comprises a relative minority of the everyday workload of a structural engineer, says simply "I see. What is it that you have to know?" "Math and science, kid, math and science. None of this JavaScript or JPEG horsing around. You've got to be hardcore to make it in this world." "So you're saying that computers are too much about 'soft' subjects like visual and human interfacing, and not enough about math and science?" "Yeah, exactly! Now you got it," the structural engineer affirms. "It's funny, I just spoke to someone who said the opposite," Hax0r Man muses. "Math and science are great, but are they really all that life is about?" "This world runs on science, kid. Everything that you see happens because of physics. Got it? That sidewalk you're sitting on? It's there because of physics. That computer you're using? It runs because of physics. That tree over there? It's growing because of biology, which is really just a subset of physics. You don't even begin to understand these things, lost in your little world of blogs and digital photo editing." "So life is all about science," Hax0r Man concludes. "That's all life really is, kid." Hax0r Man perceives that he should, in theory, be more able to reason with a logical thinker like this than the woman he was talking to before, but he realizes that he just can't. The statement "Life is all about science" is a value judgement, and value judgements can't really be argued in terms of science. Hax0r Man could try to explain his point of view in terms of sociology, psychology, or philosophy, but the structural engineer probably wouldn't understand. So Hax0r Man finally just nods and says "Okay. Thanks for letting me know." The structural engineer goes on his way, leaving Hax0r Man alone again. Hax0r Man now finds himself unable to resist contemplating his position among people in the world. Is he an artist or a scientist? Is he logical or theoretical? Logos or pathos? He doesn't really feel like he should be only one or the other; other people seem to, though. Hax0r Man has never felt the need to "fit in". He's never been very good at it, and even if he could pull it off, he doesn't really see the point in doing so. But recent events have led him to realize that life is much easier for certain people if they simply master the art of being accepted by others. For one thing, it's probably more amenable to finding paid employment, which can be handy for those who intend to carry out certain basic acts of life, like consuming human-edible caloric products. For another, it sometimes seems like people who "fit in" are happier. Hax0r Man sometimes sees or hears people say that "computer people" are no longer outcasts or misfits; gone are the days when computers were solely the realm of the nerds. But for all that, Hax0r Man doesn't feel like he fits in any better with people, even among other people of the computer persuasion, let alone those of the "mainstream", whatever that's supposed to be. Hax0r Man never really intended to be alone and unknown; it just sort of ended up that way. It seems like unless you're wanted by the police or other law-enforcement authorities, people won't make active effort to try and reach you. This doesn't usually bother Hax0r Man, but he does get moments when he wonders if maybe it should be this way. When Hax0r Man dies, no one will remember him. While he is alive, his actions occur in isolation; he has no effect on the world around him, and the world around him, for the most part, has little effect on him. Is this wrong? Should he try to change this? Hax0r Man likes to give answers to people. Sometimes on IRC, or occasionally even IRL, someone will ask him about a device driver or a network connection, and Hax0r Man often has an answer for such folks, but he often finds that he doesn't get many answers from people in return. Today, as many times before, talking to others has only left him more perplexed and confused. Perhaps it's better not to think about it. Maybe Hax0r Man should just go back to his coding. His last non-technical thought of the moment, before he dives back into the code, is: Maybe it's not good to be moderate. Maybe it's better just to be a zealot. Maybe it's easier not to actually think. Maybe. But he will anyway.