People with social disabilities are interesting. These are people who are,
physically and mentally, fully capable of functioning in everyday life, but
lack the understanding or skill needed to fit into society's idea of what a
"normal" person is like. Although such people are often stereotyped, there is
actually quite a wide variety of social handicaps.
  For example, some people are very quiet, and find it difficult to speak to
other people in any way. Many of these people are simply shy, and if
encouraged to communicate with a few open-ended questions, can turn out to be
quite friendly if they are brought out of their self-consciously awkward
state. Some quiet people are less readily engaged in conversation, and
actively resist any attempts at doing so, often becoming agitated or even
hostile if you try to speak to them.
  At the opposite end of the scale is another interesting category of social
misfit: The person who talks too much. These people differ significantly in
the things they talk about, but they tend to have one thing in common: They
are friendly, and desire the company of other people. Often, these people
feel lonely and isolated inside, and are simply trying to counteract this
feeling. In many cases, these people can be quite pleasant to talk to and
lack any significant social stigma other than that they can be difficult to
quiet down when such becomes necessary or desirable.
  However, among people who tend to talk a lot, there is an important
subclass of social disorder involving subject matter. Simply put, many people
lack a basic sense of what is "acceptable" to discuss in polite society and
what is not. Of course, acceptable topics of conversation will differ from
one culture to another, but just about every culture in the world has people
like this. In most cases, these people can still be friendly and pleasant,
but they may make others uncomfortable by saying or asking things which
people do not wish to talk about.
  Whether consciously or not, most people form a personal set of acceptable
and unacceptable conversation topics in their mind as they go through life.
In general, it is best to try and respect the boundaries that other people
have defined for themselves. Trying to talk to someone about something that
makes them uncomfortable is counterproductive if the person starts closing up
and refusing to discuss the matter, and attempting to force such a
conversation to continue is likely to only make things worse.
  Unfortunately, many world cultures have formed a set of "acceptable"
conversation topics that seems to preclude meaningful human interaction. In
most Western cultures, it is commonplace for people to discuss the weather,
entertainment (music, movies, etc.), food, and amusing personal events. While
these can be interesting and fulfilling avenues of discussion, they scarcely
even begin to approach the innermost thoughts of the human psyche. A human
being's mind is not merely composed of snippets of information gathered from
here and there; the human being is a complex, profound entity with values,
hopes, preferences, and musings which extend far beyond the things that most
people talk about. Most conversation today completely sidesteps the things
that actually constitute a person, preferring instead to dwell on the mundane
and the vapid. Even between married couples--a class of human pairing which,
in theory, should be more profound than any other in the world--it seems
common for people to bond and connect with each other over superficial things
such as enjoying the same type of music or food. When you ask almost anyone
who they really are--what drives them to do the things they do, why they live
the way they live, why they get up in the morning--they come up empty. Many
simply have no answer to the question; others become confused or even angry
if you ask. This suggests that these people have never bothered much to think
about such things, because society has suggested to them that these subjects
are taboo. What a great shame to imagine that people are taught to ignore
their deepest ideals and dreams because thoughts about such things are
inappropriate.
  Social suppression of honest reflection not only makes people feel
uncomfortable about looking within themselves; it also blurs people's
understanding of what real self-examination is. In American society, there
are numerous popular talk-radio personalities who are famous for violating
social standards of what is acceptable to say. These people become popular
simply because there are many folks who feel tired of arbitrary rules
dictating what they may or may not say, and these radio show hosts are
championed as guardians of free speech. In practice, however, too many such
radio shows maintain their popularity by focusing on picayune, bawdy details
such as the size of people's genitalia or how frequently they have sex. While
these details are a normal part of human life and people should not be
ashamed to talk about them, they hardly reveal much about a person or what
someone is really like. Far from fulfilling their self-styled roles as
guardians of frank talk in society, these "shock jocks" and their focus on
obnoxious or offensive content actually do the general public a disservice by
distorting notions of what openness and candor are really about.
  Speaking for myself, I have long wondered if I have some form of autism; it
often seems that I lack the basic ability to understand what is acceptable to
say to other people, and people often take offense at comments I make which
are meant to be simple and unintrusive, a classic symptom of autism. As I've
gotten older, however, I've gained a better sense of what people think it's
all right to say. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately, depending on how you
look at it), I often opt to deliberately ignore it. I do this not out of any
desire to offend, insult, or hurt people, but simply because the list of
acceptable conversation topics is completely uninteresting and lacking in any
ability to enlighten or otherwise edify the human spirit. I am not interested
in merely scratching the surface of a person; when I talk to someone, I want
to find out who they really are inside. I want to truly know the depth of a
person. Some people balk at searching their souls at this level of detail,
and if they do not wish to discuss such things, I am still happy to be their
friend, but alas, I shall not have much to say to them.
  If you ever meet me, please do not be offended if I ask you what you live
for, where you wish your life to be 10 years from now, or what you do in your
spare time. I am simply trying to get to know you. If you feel I am being
nosy or intrusive, let me know and I will stop. I seek other people with the
same attitude: People who are not afraid to look within themselves, people
who are not embarrassed to be real people with real personas. Such people are
rare and precious. If you also want to meet such people and are lucky enough
to find one, treat them as the valuable gems they are, and give them their
due in kind: If you expect them to open up freely about themselves, it is
only fair for you to answer the same questions for them if they ask.
Friendships are easy to make and maintain, but deep friendships--the kind of
friendships which uplift people and flourish into relationships that help
both people live more meaningful lives--are much more difficult. Yet without
them, there could scarcely be a reason for humans to exist.